How to Prepare for Having Two Under Two: A Mom’s Guide to Parenting Two Small Kids

Don’t worry moms, you will survive this! You will have many funny stories to tell your children as they get older, especially during the dreaded teen years.  Your hair does NOT have to fall out because little Suzy decided to poop during her bubble bath, and because there were so many bubbles you didn’t see it till the water drained. And just because little Stevie drew all over the living room coffee table, and his brother's face, doesn’t mean you can’t have nice things. It just means practicality is a priority with small human curiosity-seekers afoot.

If you are preparing to have two under two or you are already in the thick of it, here are some great tips to help you get through this crazy time of your life and retain all (or most of) your hair. 

 

Tip #1: The Minimalist Approach

Adopting a minimalist approach with regards to things for the home can do wonders for a parent’s sanity.  When the kiddos are small, they tend to touch and taste everything they see. Minimizing the home furnishings and clutter to necessary items only works great. For example, maybe a fancy glass coffee table isn’t a great choice when the little ones are learning to walk. One that is tufted or cushioned is a better option.  An even better choice would be one that is cushioned and has storage inside for all those toys that come with having more than one child. When there is a lot of decorative clutter, it just means more “stuff” the kids can get into, and not to mention, more stuff to clean. What could take two hours to clean on a Saturday turns into six. Let's face it, ultimately, you're going to have to put a zillion things up high on a shelf or hide in a closet anyway, so maybe just adopting this kind of lifestyle, for now, would work for you and ease the cleaning stress. 

Being a minimalist parent means asking yourself “Do I need this now?” or “Does this one change save me from additional cleaning or breakage of something I love?”  A child proofed, minimalist decor removes so much worry for parents in their everyday life.

Tip #2: Routines Rule

Believe it or not, children thrive in a routine environment.  According to the NIH (National Institute of Health) a consistent bedtime routine is linked to improved sleep patterns and better emotional and behavioral development in children. Try to keep to similar mealtimes, nap times, playtime, and bedtime.  For example, establishing a bedtime routine like bath before bed and then reading a story, can start the process of winding down and make going to bed an enjoyable part of the day for children and parents alike. But always remember that you can’t be perfect all the time. Routines are guidelines. Some days are just all over the place and that’s ok. Learn to pivot when the unexpected rears its ugly head, which can happen often for parents with two under two. 

One tip that can be very useful when the nap time shifts between children due to illness or when the older child only needs one nap while the younger one still needs two - try setting up a pack-n-play in a different room. This is a great way to ensure the kids can get the rest time they need and gives them the space to do it without breaking the routine.   

 

Tip #3: Getting out of the House

The schedule doesn’t have to be so rigid that you can’t leave the house.  Children do need their naps, but they also need to get outside and learn how to behave in the outside world. You’ll find it all too easy to use the excuse that you are tired from the day, and it's just easier not to, but it really is the best age to begin teaching your little ones proper behavior outside of the home. 

Now, I know it’s not easy to bring two under two to the store at first. However, there are many benefits to teaching them young. Going to the grocery store and bank becomes part of the routine they learn to expect and enjoy. Using the store carts for shopping and strollers for parks keeps the babies safe and contained. The more you take them outside of the home, the more they get accustomed to going.

Mom Hack: 

Always bring a simple snack such as cereal or goldfish crackers. They have these great little containers with handles for little hands to reach in through the lid and grab cereal without spilling. Also, a sippy cup of water.  Water doesn’t spoil, stink or stain when accidentally left in the car for a few days. Also, if the sippy cup spills… it’s just water!

 

Tip #4: Meal Planning and Prep

Meal prep and planning is crucial when you take on two under two. Gone are the days when you had time to figure out what’s for dinner everyday. You need a plan that’s easy, delicious and quick when you’ve got two hungry babies to feed. 

First, let’s talk planning. The first step is getting a white board or paper pad that is easily visible in your main living space. This way you and your partner can easily add the items you run out of for the next shopping trip. I recommend a magnetic pad for the fridge or a whiteboard calendar you can 3M tape to your pantry door. It helps so much when making your grocery list. It is also a great tool for meal planning. Don’t turn each night into a dreaded conversation of what’s for dinner. Think ahead and write it down. Make a spot on the white board for just weeknight dinners, that way you’ll know what meat to pull out of the freezer in the morning.

Mom Hack:

These whiteboard calendars are a great space to jot down upcoming appointments/events that can’t be missed for the week too. So you don’t have to store all those reminders in your head!

Now let’s talk meal prep. Give yourself a great start to the week by doing your main meal prep on Sunday so it reduces cooking time for meals during the week. They say cook once and heat up twice. This means Sunday’s meatloaf dinner becomes Monday's spaghetti and meatballs, which then becomes Tuesday’s meatball subs. Sunday’s baked potatoes become Monday morning’s eggs and homefries. See where I’m going with this? Cook like you are feeding a large family on Sunday and get creative with leftovers. Lastly, don’t sweat the nights you didn’t meal prep. Breakfast for dinner (brinner) will work and with not one complaint from your toddler. 

 

Tip #5: Society and Expectations 

It’s important to remember as you navigate this crazy time that some children figure it out fast, while some are a little slower. Some children pick up language quickly, while others babble a lot longer. Your first born might love to run, climb, and jump. While your second may prefer to look at picture books and walk cautiously. What it means for us as parents is that we may have to be a certain way with one child and a different way with the other. They are working at their own pace and as a parent, you are the support, guidance and love they need. Don’t burden yourself with societal expectations. Don’t get caught in the trap of comparing your child's growth to someone else's. Your child’s pediatrician is the best resource for milestones, growth charts and any concerns you may have. So always start there… not some online influencer.

There is also a lot of pressure to not have any screen time or to make sure they can write their name before pre-k. But guess what? You have to do what works for you. Sometimes screen time is your saving grace. There are also fantastic resources for learning television like YouTube Kids. Shows like Miss Rachel, sing-a-long videos, children’s stories. These can give you the 30-minute reprieve you need while removing the guilt of screen time.  There are so many options out there, so use them!

Tip #6: Check in with Yourself

Let's face it, the unexpected happens every day with children. We can’t let these things pile up without an eventual meltdown. As moms - home life, work life and parent life can all collide, crash and burn if ignored. Make sure you check in with your partner or a friend when these moments become too big. Baby Blues can hit harder with two under two and PPD (Postpartum Depression) can rear its ugly head fast. Make sure you are getting the help you need to thrive, not just survive. 

 

Don’t Worry You’ve Got This

Having two under the age of two is stressful, but something often forgotten is it is also one of the best experiences you will ever live through. You will have to juggle a lot in the beginning, and oh yes the diapers you will be purchasing. But you will get to watch your little ones learn to be the best of friends, get into mischief together, laugh the best belly laughs, and see firsthand the most honest form of loyalty they will have for one another. It truly is something special. 

And for those stressful moments where things get too overwhelming, and there will be a few of them, check out resources like Roe Vitals Elixirs to help bring yourself back to calm. 

 

About the Author

Kris Kerber is an aspiring author of children’s stories, blog writer and copywriter. She retired from the medical administrative field about 1 year ago and is currently writing herself a new future. Writing has always been a love of hers and now she has the time to achieve this goal for the encore performance of her life. When Kris is not writing, she enjoys her very large family, gardening, cooking and traveling the country with her husband.